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Show less Rejection is never easy, but you can manage the situation in the best way possible by responding compassionately yet unambiguously. The best approach is to be direct. It's best to do it in person or in a message, saying something like, 'I really appreciate the time we spent together, but I don't feel like we're a match.
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Hooking up is like eating ice cream in July. At first, it's titillating — especially if you haven't had soft-serve since last August. Then, the cones start to become a bit of a habit of indulgence, which is also totally great and fun. Eventually, though, the ice cream goes from being a blast to being sticky and monotonous. You're going through the motions of shoveling the mint chip directly into your mouth from the Talenti jar, but it's not so fun anymore. The signs you're not into hookups are not unlike the stomachaches that signal you've had too much ice cream.
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The hook-up culture has been designed by sexual people for sexual people. Being founded on tiny thrills and flirtatious pleasures, it allows us not only to actualize our wildest dreams, but also to explore, without any judgment or shame, the inane, frivolous side of what we call physical attraction. Aside from the precedent about consensual adults, casual sex has only one unwritten rule — that the perfect stranger must leave the scene of the crime before the first morning coffee. But this can cause confusion too. Do both of you want to end it there? Or do you secretly wish for it to last a little longer? Our advice is to let it go, at least for a day or two.
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- As girls, we spend too much time analyzing conversations we have with the boys in our lives.
- Most people think that being in one string attached kind of relationship is more interesting than the actual dating.